Apparently you can’t miss one episode without someone getting a concussion or breaking a foot.  And I thought there wasn’t enough material to sustain a season of snark – ha! Forgive me, dear readers.  I’m back.

Week 4 was Rock Week, brought to you by KISS  - because nothing says “ballroom is sexy” like five sexagenarians in face paint.  Nice going, ABC.  I’m pretty sure you’ve alienated your core demographic with that one.

Gene Simmons opened the evening’s festivities with the statement, “We’re going to kiss somebody goodbye” before inviting viewers to “Lick it Up.”  Get it?  Kiss?  Cuz they’re KISS?  Oh, nevermind.  Way to set the tone, Gene.