Tag Archive: Chris Harrison

Mar
11

The Bachelor Finale: Sean Breaks Two Hearts – Lindsay’s and His Mother’s

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

On the season finale of the Bachelor, Sean makes everyone cry: Catherine, Lindsay, himself… even his mother.

The three hour “Bachelor Finale Event” kicked off with a live studio audience and Chris Harrison, breathlessly reporting “late breaking” news about Sean’s quest for love.  Really, ABC?   How can it be breaking if it wrapped several months ago?

Sean arrives in Thailand with his lady loves and his family, who provide absolutely no assistance whatsoever in helping him choose his final lady.  Honestly, I have no idea why they shipped the two kids to Thailand on what had to be a ridiculously long flight.  The best line of the night, however, goes to Sean’s nephew (a/k/a the kid with the super fancy playhouse), who reminded Sean, “Emily didn’t pick you!”  Hilarious.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

1 comment

Feb
04

Bachelor Week 5: Things Are Getting Rocky in the Rockies

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

 

Photo courtesy of ABC

Pack your bags, the group is going on a world-wide journey to find love and it starts in…Montana?!?  Really?  Yep.  The date cards come and there are three dates: one group date, a 1-on-1 and a 2-on 1, all featuring Sean the self-proclaimed “outdoorsy guy.”  Be sure to check yourself for ticks.

Tierra says she should get the 1-on-1 because “she deserves it.”  What she “deserves” is a good ass-kicking.  So irritating.  Tough luck, Tierra, cuz substitute teacher Lindsay got it instead.  Sean packed an extra flannel and Henley and they rode in a “badass” helicopter to tour Glacier National Park.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , , ,

Leave comment

Jan
22

Bachelor Week 3: Rookie Mistakes and the Rosacea Twins Set a World Record

Categories:

by

Rookie

Important things are happening on the Bachelor, y’all!  Like, world records are being SHATTERED.  This is serious stuff, people.

The episode begins with a shirtless Sean working out shirtless in his private shirtless gym.  ABC clearly knows which side its bread is buttered on!  Sean’s “digging a lot of women” and can’t wait for the two one-on-one dates and the group date.  Not everyone’s getting a date this week, so you know there will be drama among the ladies.

Spunky Robyn dreams about receiving the date card, telling producers, “I want the date card to say ‘Robyn, Let’s ditch these bitches and go fall in love for real.’” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , ,

Leave comment

Jan
14

Bachelor Week 2: Sean’s Got Jungle Fever and the House Turns Into a “Tornado of Negativity”

Categories:

by

I thought I’d start this week by explaining the “Bachelor Drinking Game.”  Every time Sean and/or the bachelorettes say certain words, take a drink of the beverage of your choice.  Tonight, it’s water.  (Yeah, I’m a wild woman.  Tell me something I don’t already know.)

So, for example, tonight I…really had to pee.

 

By the numbers:

journey = 1 drink

“love of my life” = 1 swig

talking about how “real” it is = 4 (glug, glug, glug, glug)

Sean is the “perfect guy” = 1 (hiccup)

fairy tale = 2 shots

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , , ,

Leave comment

Jan
07

The Bachelor’s Back! Let the Drinking Begin!

Categories:

by

Everyone’s favorite 29-year-old Texan is back in L.A. to meet a new crop of single ladies in the hopes of finding his bride.  Nice to see Sean’s oompa loompa tan has faded a smidge since Emily’s season.  But he’s back, and he brought plenty of plaid shirts and v-neck tees with him.

Sean, whose shirtless body was featured no less than three times in the opening sequence, exclaimed,  “I want to love my woman . . . I want to be that rock,” as his shirtless self climbed a rock.  So literal!  Oh Bachelor, how I love thee.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , ,

4 comments

Sep
10

Bachelor Pad Finale: Rachel Gets Screwed and Blakeley’s a Step-Mommy?

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

When Chris Harrison said this was the “most disturbing season finale of ‘Bachelor Pad’ ever,” he wasn’t kidding.  Which part of the show was he referring to when he said “most disturbing?”

Was it:
(a) the cheesy proposal,

(b) Jamie’s “Cleopatra” getup, complete with sparkly headgear, or

(c) Rachel getting screwed over?

I’m going with all of the above.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , , , ,

1 comment

Aug
13

Bachelor Pad 3, Week 4: Things Are Getting Weird (and Awkward)

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

Photo courtesy of ABC

After the rose ceremony, the house was reeling over the ouster of Donna Reid (get it? Super-Fan Donna and Still-Obsessed-with-Jillian Reid? Bah-dum-dum!)

But the drama wasn’t over yet!  Chris Harrison presented the group with questionnaires to complete for the next challenge, “Gameshow Mashup.”  The challenge was neither a game show, nor a mash-up.  The first round asked generic questions about love and romance, while round two asked players to identify “who said that” in the house.  The guy and girl with the highest score won immunity, while the losers would get a vote against them.  Michael, who has emerged as the sole voice of reason on this show, predicted that the competition would go south pretty fast, and lots of feelings would be hurt.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave comment

Jul
23

Bachelor Pad: Yes, I’ve Watched Bachelor Programming for Five Hours in the Past Day. Don’t Judge Me.

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

 

Photo courtesy of ABC

I was supposed to clean my bathroom tonight, but the train wreck that is the Bachelor Pad kept me on my couch.  Yes, ‘twas the siren’s song that lured me away from my toilet brush and into the ridiculousness of yet another show produced by Heidi Fleiss’ brother.

For the uninitiated, the Bachelor Pad brings rejects from all seasons of the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows to live under one roof for the summer, team up and compete in challenges, attempt to fall in love and/or win $250,000.  They get ahead by essentially lying and stabbing each other in the back.  The couple that wins the competition gets a rose and is safe from elimination.  They also get to go on a date.  Each week, the guys vote off the girls and vice versa.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave comment

Jul
22

The Bachelorette Finale: It’s an Insta-Family! Just Add Water!

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

We’ve reached, according to Chris Harrison, “the most dramatic television event of the summer… One of the most dramatic finales in Bachelorette history.”  Well, that shouldn’t be too hard, since there have only been eight seasons total.  We were promised some “shocking secrets” (ahem, one, and, it’s not so shocking).

But this season isn’t like all the rest, according to Chris Harrison.  We’re treated to a three-hour live event, because every engagement should be televised and commented about by strangers in a theater-in-the-round setting.  One question – where’s the bullfighter?

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , ,

2 comments

Jul
16

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All (Except What They’re Contractually Obligated Not to Discuss)

Categories:

by

Photo courtesy of ABC

We’re at that point in season 8 of Bachelorette where Chris Harrison finally asks the guys “what the hell was wrong with you when you called Ricki baggage” and “are you that douche-y in real life?”  (The answers are: I’m just bein’ me and yes, respectively.)

Here are a few of my initial observations:

Holy spray tan, Batman!  It looked like quite a few of the rejects took a detour to the “Dancing with the Stars” set and made liberal use of the unlimited spray tan facilities.

Read the full post

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

2 comments

Older posts «