Oct
15

Potential OPI Nail Polish Colors Should the Government Shutdown Continue

We’re into Week 3 of Government Shutdown 2013, and things are getting rough, y’all.  Like, so rough, I’m submitting a list of potential OPI nail colors should this thing continue.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user _Fidelio_ under a Creative Commons license.

Here they are, in no particular order:

All Dressed Up and No Place to Furlough

This is Red-iculous!

Fiscal Cliff Fuchsia

My PAC or Yours?

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue State

Blame Game Blues

Tea Party Teal

Green Eggs and Farm Subsidies

Blink First Blanca

Sep
16

Season 17 of “Dancing with the Stars” Premiered Tonight – Did You Watch?

Courtesy of ABC

Unfortunately for ABC, DWTS is turning into Make-a-Wish for Seniors.

For weeks, the network’s been touting all these new changes to the show that were revealed on Monday night, so I hope you all were ready for them!  Here they are, in no particular order:

  • You get 12 votes per phone line, per e-mail address, and Facebook account. That’s 36 votes, y’all.  Oooooh.
  • The show will only air one night a week.  Ahhhh.
  • Couples keep their numbers the whole season.  Say it with me now.  Ohhhhhh.

Aug
05

The Bachelorette Finale: Desiree Gets Her Fairytale Proposal – I Give It Four Months

Photo courtesy of ABC

To start the night off, Chris Harrison recapped the first half of the finale succinctly: “Desiree gave her heart completely to someone who didn’t love her back…Desiree was left…virtually hopeless.”  Nice setup, ABC.  Real nice.

We pick up where we left off last Monday – with Desiree crying in Antigua to a sad music soundtrack.  *cue the violins*  Des changes out of her heinous outfit into a maxi dress for the obligatory “where do we go from here?” chat with Chris Harrison.  Chris Harrison asks how she is and she says OK, but he calls bullshit and she dissolves into a puddle of tears on the porch, sobbing that she just wants to go home.

Jul
30

The Bachelorette Finale Part 1: Really? Is Part 2 Necessary?

Rip the Band-Aid, Brooks. JUST RIP THE BAND-AID!!!!!!!! Photo courtesy of ABC

“This journey has been amazing!”  Desiree gushes at the beginning of the episode.  So naturally it’s going to be a giant cluster-you-know-what.  In case you weren’t clued in to this fact, Chris Harrison called the episode we were able to witness “shocking,” “incredible,” and “dramatic.”  And you know Chris Harrison doesn’t use those words lightly.

Jul
24

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell Some Stuff, Avoid Others

Photo courtesy of ABC

It’s that time of the season again – where the rejects gather to “get closure” from the object of their affection after the world’s shortest love affair(s).  (Didn’t we just do this two months ago with Sean?)

Jul
15

The Bachelorette: It’s the Hometowns, People!

Photo courtesy of ABC

It’s the best week of the Bachelorette – hometowns!  You know, when the contestants’ embarrassing family members let their freak flags fly in front of all of America! Who can forget when Chantal took Brad (the second time he was the Bachelor) to the mortuary and made him play house on the embalming table?  Or when someone’s grandma wanted to know whether the Bachelor’s any good in the sack?  ABC wasted no time getting into it.

Jul
08

The Bachelorette: Lots of Picnics, Cloud Nine, and Riding the Love Roller Coaster

Brooks in his Mr. Rogers cardigan. Photo courtesy of ABC.

The group wakes up on Madeira Island, Portugal, which according to them is, the “hidden pearl in the Atlantic.”  I desperately hope someone from the tourism bureau’s paying attention to the “Bachelorette,” because apparently the palm trees, island breezes, crystal blue waters and breathtaking rock formations don’t sell themselves.  Promotional consideration must be exchanged, I say!

This week, there will be three 1-on-1 dates, and one 2-on-1 date.  A rose will only be given out during the 2-on-1, and nobody goes home before the rose ceremony (unless they feel like it.)

Jul
04

Get ‘em started early…

Whatever happened to visiting an establishment and, oh, I dunno,  just getting a GUMBALL????  Do toddlers REALLY need mini-handcuffs, grenades, and assorted ammunition?  Apparently, the answer is yes.

Jul
02

Disney’s “Delivery Man” Hits Theaters November 22nd – Exclusive Sneak Peek Here

I know what you’re thinking – why would I want to watch a movie where Vince Vaughn delivers pizza/mail/UPS packages?  But it’s not that kind of movie, you guys!  In “Delivery Man,” Vaughn plays David, an unreliable guy who’s “stuck” and wants to find a purpose in life.  After a mix-up at the sperm bank 20 years earlier (hate it when that happens!), he discovers that he’s the father of 533 kids, 142 of whom are suing to discover his identity.   David wants to meet these kids (now young adults) but can’t disclose his identity, so he assumes the role of guardian angel in their lives.  The cast includes “How I Met Your Mother’s” Cobie Smulders and “Parks & Recreation’s” Chris Pratt.  While it’s a Disney movie, it’s PG-13, so leave the kiddos at home.  Can’t wait to see it, and enjoy the preview!

Jul
01

The Bachelorette: Did You Know Caves in Spain Come Furnished with Leather Couches? Me Neither.

If watching 20+ seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette has taught me anything, it’s that if you act halfway normal, you have a decent shot at making it to the finals.   Don’t be a crybaby, resist the urge to be a tattle-tale, steer clear of the douchey-ness and mind your own beeswax and you should be OK.  That being said, in Barcelona this week, the caca hit the fan-o.

The episode started with Des, sketchpad in hand, declaring that Barcelona is “so inspiring” and “the perfect place to fall in love.”  (Kinda like Munich. And Thailand. And the Seychelles.  And Paris. And Canada. And New Jersey, the list goes on and on.)  Meanwhile, the hoodie brigade (seriously, between hoodies and v-neck short sleeve tees, that’s all they packed) enjoyed Cervezas at a tapas bar when Chris Harrison arrived with the date cards.  There will be a group date and two 1-on-1 dates.  At some point, the guys pinky swear that whomever gets the first 1-on-1 has to tell Des that James is campaigning HARD to be the next Bachelor.  Drew’s the lucky winner, and he starts the date with zero intentions of telling her.

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