Monday night is must-see TV night at my house. Forget the non-stop comedy block days of yore ala “Seinfeld” and “Friends.” You’ve got “The Bachelor” AND “Intervention.” That’s right. I’m not ashamed to say that I watch either show. Now in its 11th season, “Intervention” profiles addicts and their families as they fight to get and stay sober. According to its website, the show’s been around since 2005. I’m a little fuzzy on the math but I’m willing to look past it if you can.
So here, in no particular order, are five reasons why I love the show:
1. The element of surprise. Addicts are not known for their ability to sit still. That’s why 99 percent have no idea they are on the show, even though they’ve agreed to participate in a documentary and the show’s been on for 11 seasons.
2. It makes me feel better about my life. It’s no accident the show is on Monday nights. Everyone is bummed the weekend is over and it’s back to work. No matter how unproductive I’ve been, or how bad I feel about something, at least I’m not sniffing glue or selling myself for crack. (“Crack is whack!”)
3. I can justify almost any expense (under $200). That pair of shoes I’ve been eyeing? Or what about that handbag? The coke addict on last night’s episode had a $200/day habit. Besides, those shoes will last me AT LEAST through this season.
4. The standardized speech that the interventionist gives during each pre-intervention to the enabling family members. Says Jeff: “You’re the treatment center. And you suck!” In the same vein, I also enjoy the DVR summaries for each show. Check out the one for last week’s episode:
5. Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising! Lest you think the show is only about helping people, it’s also about making a little green on the side. It’s true, there’s an “Intervention Store” on the website, where you can purchase your favorite episodes of your favorite addict. Or, if you prefer, you can purchase a box set by affliction. Why decide between the Eating Disorders Collection or the Crack/Cocaine DVD set when you can get both! That’s what I say, anyway.
Before you flood my inbox with hate mail about what an insensitive b*tch I am, click on over to the Hoarders site where you can purchase this t-shirt that reads “Keep this Shirt: Hoarders.” The caption reads: “This t-shirt is definitely a keeper.” It sells for $26.95. Ch-ching! Or the one featuring a pile of newspapers that reads “Put this t-shirt at the top of the pile.” Someone’s cashing in. That’s all I’m saying.