Category Archive: My Life

Jun 14

Still Looking for the Perfect Father’s Day Gift? Found It!

Father's Day - Betty Boop purses

Look no further, friends.  I saw this at a handbag store on my way to work this week.  Get dad that studded Betty Boop purse he’s had his eye on.  The only question is, which one?  (Pretty sure they ship, too!)


Feb 13

Somehow I Don’t Think This Is What Brach’s Had In Mind…

Size is not actual.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Size is not actual. Big bummer.

I saw these Create-Your-Own Large Conversation Hearts when I was at the grocery store over the weekend and instantly knew I couldn’t pass it up.  It was to be my Valentine’s Day project. Darn things are way too small.  I couldn’t fit “I prefer chocolate over your penis any day of the week” on the “large” conversation hearts.  Looks like someone isn’t being truthful about size.

Aug 07

Some people take Forever XXI quite literally.

Chicago, IL

Chicago, IL

Jul 07

Cough Drop Manufacturers Really Suck, Part II

Don't wait to get started.

It’s bad enough to be sick during summer, but to have cough drop manufacturers kicking you when you’re down is just plain mean. Last year, I discovered that cough drop companies think we’re morons.  Hall’s now has a campaign where they offer “a pep talk in every drop!”  Um, I feel like crap.  I can’t taste anything and am coughing so hard I’ve pulled a muscle in my chest.  My nose is raw from blowing it and I have zero appetite because I have a mucus pool forming in my stomach.  (Gross, I know.)  I’ve been sick for more than two weeks.  Gimme a break.  So when I read your “inspirational saying” that I should “inspire envy” … well, excuse me while I punch you in the throat.

Jun 23

Adventures in Healthcare: Northern Ohio Edition

Classy Wendy's

I woke up Friday morning, the first day of my four day vacation, with a sore throat.  Uh-oh, I thought to myself.  This won’t be good.  A shower didn’t help, neither did the 7+hour road trip I’d taken the day before from Chicago to Ohio with my brother and sister-in-law’s boisterous but loveable dog, Walter, to whom I am very allergic.  I did everything I could – purchased the Zyrtec plus congestion meds that I was put on the national meth registry for buying, sat in the front seat, etc.  By Friday afternoon, the sore throat had migrated down into my chest and I hacked like a life-long smoker with a breathing problem.  By the time we’d arrived at my family’s lake house Friday night, I knew I was in trouble.  (For those who are regular readers of my blog, this is the same place where I had my eyebrow threading adventures last summer.)

Jun 16

Well this makes a lot of sense…

Chicago, Spring 2012

A few weeks ago, as I was walking to work, I noticed a bunch of signs like this one posted on trees.

Chicago, Spring 2012

May 27

A Night at the (Turtle) Races

Big Joe's Chicago, IL

I had been looking forward to the Turtle Races for months, ever since my friend Michelle told me about the bar that hosted it down the street from her husband’s old neighborhood.   We had planned to go before, but I’d gotten sick and wasn’t able to attend.  So when the e-mail titled “Turtle racing?” arrived in my inbox last week, I was all over it.

Big Joe's Chicago, IL

Apr 09

5 Things I Want to Say to the Moron at McDonald’s Who Spends 10 Minutes Staring at the Menu Board

McDonald's Menu

Every time I go to McDonald’s (for my $1 large Coke Zero), without fail, I find myself standing in line behind the tool who has no idea what they want to order.  Seriously?  Seriously.  Unless you’ve just regained your sight and have never seen the menu board at McDonald’s, then you have no excuse to stand there like an idiot, mouth agape, staring at the menu board.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.

Feb 26

I Survived the Oscars Best Picture Marathon and All I Got Was This Crappy Cold.

2012 Oscar Marathon

For the second year in a row, I attended the Best Picture Marathon that’s held the day before the Oscars, where you watch all the Best Picture nominees in a movie theater with other “movie lovers.”  (Or misfit toys, your pick).   Last year it was ten movies, this year it was nine.  Here’s my experience:

Jan 31

The Joy of Tots or, Reason 431 Why I Don’t Cook

Target Greeting Card Aisle

The color coordinated clip was unintentional, but a nice touch, don't you think?

I love Tater Tots.  Not as much as my dog loves McDonald’s ice cream, but a lot.  So you can imagine the stress I feel when I have to bake them.  You see, I had a Tater Tot Emergency awhile back that my Mom LOVES to bring up.  In fact, she brought it up AGAIN last week.  We’ll just call it the “Flaming Tot Emergency of 1999.”

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