Category Archive: Dancing with the Stars

Sep 16

Season 17 of “Dancing with the Stars” Premiered Tonight – Did You Watch?

Courtesy of ABC

Courtesy of ABC

Unfortunately for ABC, DWTS is turning into Make-a-Wish for Seniors.

For weeks, the network’s been touting all these new changes to the show that were revealed on Monday night, so I hope you all were ready for them!  Here they are, in no particular order:

  • You get 12 votes per phone line, per e-mail address, and Facebook account. That’s 36 votes, y’all.  Oooooh.
  • The show will only air one night a week.  Ahhhh.
  • Couples keep their numbers the whole season.  Say it with me now.  Ohhhhhh.

Oct 23

DWTS All Stars Week 5: Gilles Marini Dances in a Towel – That’s All You Need to Know

Because of the Presidential debates, there were no eliminations on DWTS this week. (OK, ABC, but I’m not sure how the debates fit into that decision, but I’ll go with it.)  Instead, they had the eight finalists perform a “guilty pleasures” dance each night (4 per night), along with two team freestyles.

Team “Call Me Maybe” performed their group dance Monday night, and their individual dances on Tuesday, while Team “Gangnam Style” danced their guilty pleasures on Monday and the team dance on Tuesday.

Let’s start with the group dances because they were memorable in their own ways.

Oct 15

DWTS All Stars Week 4: The Dancers Were Uncomfortable and Paula Was (Almost) “Straight Up” Coherent

This week, Paula Abdul was a guest judge on Dancing with the Stars: All Stars.  In case you didn’t know, Paula choreographed for “all the big names” from the Jacksons to ZZ Top.  Wait, what?  ZZ Top?  Like choreographing for ZZ Top would be that difficult.  My grandma could choreograph for those bearded weirdos.

The stars had to perform dances picked for them by their competitors.  Most of the professionals were pretty uncomfortable and there were some tears.

Oct 08

DWTS All Stars Week 3: A Night of “Iconic” Dances, a Donkey Show that Wasn’t, and a Double Elimination. Ruh-roh.

This week on Dancing with the Stars, Tom Bergeron promised us two “bombshell announcements,” neither of which were really bombshells.  The first was that former “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul would be a guest judge next week.  It’ll be interesting to see what kind of a cluster that’ll be.   The second is that the all-stars will pick dance styles for each other to perform.  So, for the first time in history, strategy will play a role in ballroom dancing.

It’s a double elimination week and the “stars” were the creative directors for their dances.  That means they picked the “iconic” dance, the outfits, and any special effects (dance with a donkey, anyone?)

Oct 01

DWTS All Stars Week 2: Overenthusiastic Knees and Apolo Gets Kicked in the Face (Finally)

It’s week two of Dancing with the Stars, and this week, the “All Stars” danced the jive or quickstep.  I guess we should be glad that the Biebs wasn’t performing this week, after the pukefest that was last weekend.  (When is drinking milk before jumping around ever a good idea?  Just ask an infant what happens.)

First up were Melissa and Tony dancing the jive.  Anyone else think she looked like Minnie Mouse in that ridiculous costume?  Either the outfits on this show are silly or non-existent.  Really not a whole lot in between.  They set the tone with a solid 23.5 out of 30.

Sep 25

DWTS Results Show: Bristol Palin’s Ass Gets Its Own Brain, Plus I Call Bullshit.

Cadbury screme egg

Tonight, DWTS premiered its opening and, man, it’s super cheesy.  All the “stars” are attending movie premieres (Pamela Anderson) or reading the newspaper (Emmitt Smith) when they suddenly see the DWTS emblem in the sky signaling to them a la “Batman.”  Then, wherever they are, they rip off their clothes to reveal – SEQUINS!  RHINESTONES!  GLITTER!  Because, really, what are they doing anyway?  Retired athletes, reality TV stars without television shows, Bristol Palin – not exactly working a 9 to 5.

Sep 24

Dancing with the Stars: All Stars — They’re Baaaack!

I can’t believe it’s time for DWTS again.  Didn’t the last season wrap up, like, yesterday?  Seriously, it feels like it did.  So we’re at season 15, 162 so-called “stars” have participated, and a shit-ton of spray tan has been spilled.  I still don’t understand anything Bruno says.  Let’s get some subtitles a la “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”  Pretty please?

There are a few changes this year: for starters, you can vote on Facebook and let the entire world know you’re a tool fan.  Judges can award half points.  And you can get 13 votes per voting method (online or by phone).

May 22

Dancing with the Stars: The Finals are Finally Here! FINALLY!

I’m surprised to say that the three finalists are people who I’d never even heard of before the season started…and I still tuned in.  Because I’m a giver.

Last week when I voted for Katherine and Mark, it was Chris Harrison of the Bachelor/Bachelorette thanking me for my vote and reminding me to tune in to the new season of “The Bachelorette.”  This week, it was Kelly Clarkson (check out my  new show on Thursday, y’all!) who was promoting her show, Duets (check your local listings).

May 15

DWTS: Is it Over Yet?

DWTS

Is it over yet?  We’ve made it to the Semi-Finals.  Finally!!!   A dream of mine was nearly realized Monday night – Derek almost bit it on his way down the stairs.  Bummer for me!   The final four performed two dances and, according to the hosts, it’s the most closely matched semi-finals in DWTS history.

America’s favorite accountant William Levy kicked things off with a tango.  This week, he sported a black headband, a blue and white headband that reminds me of my mother’s dinner napkins and a skullcap beanie.

May 08

DWTS: Double Eliminations, Dance Floor Threesomes and Little House Goes Lifetime

And then there were six.  I mean four.  It’s a double elimination week.  Damn, I hate math.

This week saw the unveiling of the “Dance Trio” or, as I like to call it, “Threesome on the Dance Floor.”  The tempers flared this week, particularly amongst the male pros – Maria Menounos’ partner stormed out during one of their training sessions, and later said, “Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most.”  Then Maks flipped out and had to leave before he punched something.  Both left their partners in tears.  The way Melissa Gilbert was covering for Maks made me think I was watching a Lifetime movie – “he only hurts me because he loves me.”  “Leave already, Girl! He’s not good for you! It’s not going to get better!”  Ugh.  Speaking of Melissa Gilbert, I wonder if DWTS is contractually obligated to refer to her as “TV Icon Melissa Gilbert” every time they reference her?  Tom Bergeron was going a little overboard with it tonight.

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